Pandemic teletherapy tidbits by timeline

😷 So far, my teletherapy clients have cried more while sitting on their bed or at the kitchen table than they have in my office. The stats may equalize after a few more days, but it seems a little remarkable to me that electronic therapy doesn’t drain the feeling out. Is there something more poignant to be in one’s home? That would be very interesting. If it’s true, I hope to find a way to inflame it.

😷 This has just begun – three days of it – and I have the lousy feeling that the regular clients may suddenly evaporate. The week-to-week feeling, a subtle-strong momentum, exists in my office. But teletherapy, at this initial stage, feels like dragging a distracted person into the room.

😷 So far, I’ve given some short psychoeducational presentations so people know (when relevant) that their adult problems are childhood-based. There’s been some Focusing, some other feeling process and some marital harmonizing. I see that I feel more felicitous about giving stern caring injunctions through the screen than I would in the office. “You must be your own person. Leave the prison your father and your boyfriend have made for you.”

😷 When the pandemic panic is over, will I want to return to my office? I believe I will, regrettably. I’d like to like being at home more. Maybe if, as tidbit #1 hopes, the clients weep, fall into oceanic silences, primal scream, have super epiphanies in their homes, I’ll feel as good about this.

😷 So far, the feedback I’ve gotten has been strongly positive. Yet other people are dropping out. As long as the business doesn’t fail, I will be understanding about this: Not everyone should feel comfortable with video therapy, or that it will be useful. There’s the marijuana-soaked young man who thought he wanted feeling-centered depth therapy but quickly transitioned to justifying his daily jones on health and happiness grounds. Being drearily impaired on video would be meaningless. And, I’ve learned from an AP-level charter high school student that I am less unattractive in person than on computer.

😷 Another day. Anger is simmering, as some clients have felt free to inform me of their no-show the moment their session was to begin. This could be “out of sight, out of mind,” or rather “out of sight, no need for consideration.” I am respecting the explanation: “I can’t afford the $25 co-pay,” but not the absence of explanation or “I haven’t been able to sleep, can we skip the week?” I hope this is just a glitch day.

Doing therapy has always been this way: A good or excellent session followed by someone’s lack of interest or callous disregard.

😷 My clients text-message and email me quite often. I always text and email back comprehensive, “therapy-quality” responses. Once upon a time there was a land where this kind of extra and extra-session intimacy was considered taboo, maybe with moral and legal outrage. Authority figure Prudence Goodbody would say “Don’t do that!” Maybe that land is now and I am still living in it. Screw Prudence.

🙋          ㈿          🐥

Addendum: Follow-up "newsletter" emailed to active and recent-dormant clients

Welcome to the shortest newsletter in our part of Southern Nevada. I wanted to give my clients a quick, one-time report on the newfangled (to me) teletherapy experience.

While I had serious worries about the ability of online therapy to enable gravity, depth and focus, a dozen-plus sessions have reversed my fears and some assumptions. For example, to my surprise, clients have often found themselves deep in feeling while in their own home, sometimes more so than in the office. Discussions are as solid and as involved as usual. I’m often able to provide links and print-outs that clients can immediately see and own. Also, I had feared I’d feel distant from my client (not too surprising, considering the distance), and discovered that the sense of professional intimacy remains intact.

The only negatives I’ve seen so far are (1) my glasses that reflect screen light and blind people (to where I’m looking); (2) minor connectivity glitches such as momentary screen freezes and voice reverb; (3) cats jumping on clients’ laps (actually, that may be a benefit). Regarding the “feeling potential” of therapy, I’d say that the “room of truth” atmosphere that intensifies in-office therapy is replaced and in some ways improved on by the more casual atmosphere of home, and by what may be a greater introspective mood inspired within one’s personal space.

Because of these values and the apparent absence of disappointments with this medium, I am certain that even after the coronavirus pandemic has attenuated or disappeared, I will continue to want to see some clients via teletherapy. You would choose your preferred method or a blend of office and home.

I invite those of you who haven’t taken the plunge yet to give this a try. Remember that connection is as simple as clicking the doxy.me link. You’d still schedule appointments by this email, texting me, or calling the front office.