As I’m writing
this comment, “23 people are listening” at this Slate article. I’m sure Dear
Prudence has about 200 “listeners.” I just wanted to say that from my
understanding, there are two kinds of compassion – what might be called
political compassion and normal human compassion. The political kind – the mission of liberals – I am squeamish about. It wants to enforce charity and
benevolence at the point of a governmental gun. That’s a necessity in an interdependent society, but it’s
not real compassion. The real kind knows that ripping children from their
parents is one of the worst crimes possible. It ruins the child, often in
visible ways but also in ways that remain invisible if the child grows up to
merely be a broken adult not a criminal. It ruins unnumbered following
generations, because the children become botched parents. To not be a liberal
is to not buy into humankindness by program and fiat. I get
that. To not feel the agony of empathy for these children is to be disordered, sick.
"Parents don't do their 'best.' They do their feeling." My purpose is to present original, non-conventional therapy ideas. While "pessimistic" may seem a provocative or sabotaging quality, it is actually a facet of optimism. Just as a physician would do harm by ignoring injury, and helps the best by facing the worst, so must a therapist know that we grow from roots bent by psychic injuries in our childhood. Optimism must be based in this reality, not in wishful thinking.
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Comments are welcome, but I'd suggest you first read "Feeling-centered therapy" and "Ocean and boat" for a basic introduction to my kind of theory and therapy.