I have always had clients who just want to talk, and who believe that talking and being listened to is therapy. As an opportunistic counselor, I am almost always watching for a strategic place and a reason to intervene with meaningful questions or proposals or principles or insights. But so often it is soon clear that nothing will land because it isn’t supposed to: The person is not here to change, but to be relieved.
Today I saw two women, A. and T., who have attended for months and who appreciate me richly for my ability to listen to their emotional or reportorial narratives. Often I can’t follow their labyrinthine and “cast of thousands” soliloquys; I get entirely lost. Sometimes I find or fake reflective expressions, sometimes parrot (with nuanced tone) their last predicate. They beam, enthused, with magnified energy.
I am not sure what else to do, as the juggernaut, though inexorable, is sensitive and needy.
I can’t say I like this kind of client, these sessions. I sometimes use them to give myself humble value. That is: For these women, my being just a person is enough. But then I realize that just being a person may be extraordinary, considering the lack of empathy in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are welcome, but I'd suggest you first read "Feeling-centered therapy" and "Ocean and boat" for a basic introduction to my kind of theory and therapy.