We go one step too far

 

A bullied elementary school child fears and hates the bully. Owing to too-common circum­stances, he receives no empathy or help or justice. He soon comes to dislike the teachers who ignore his troubles. And he may come to hate his school. Fifteen years later he despises “socialists,” emphatically informs you that “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch,” and believes cocka­mamie conspiracy theories.

How does growing older lead to this de-evolution to unreality rather than to an evolution of wisdom and clarity? More importantly, what does “believe” mean?

Imagine that your childhood was textbook perfect. You are self-confident, you can love, and you care about people. Someone says to you: “This Jew sold me a bill of goods. All Jews are like that. Don’t you believe me? Don’t you hate them, too?” You would not share any of his feelings or beliefs.

Unhelped pain is the fundamental factor leading to false and delusional beliefs. Why does this happen? Why does our mind accept certain ideas when we are unhealed? More importantly, why does our mind accept any idea – why does it go to ideas – when the world, with blind eyes, turns its head away from our early hurt?

What if the bullied child, now twenty-two years old, simply sat in a chair and let a lifetime of feeling, which is in the body and brain, exist and be felt. It would contain many facts. “I am still wounded. I still fear. I am still angry. I feel needy and rejecting of people. I feel defeated. I feel alone. I feel strange because people expect me to be an adult.” Does he have to move to thoughts about people and the world from there? I believe he does not. Though he does need to think, he needs thoughts to live. Shouldn’t they be: “I was injured, the bleeding hasn’t stopped but isn’t fatal, and I don’t want this pain to remain inside me. I will get help.”

If people would do this, the world would be paradise, with a therapist on each street corner.