My motivation

I have never liked the idea of being a high-volume therapist – seeing lots of clients. Yes, in the past I’d see six to eleven per day. A corner of my brain felt “good” about the money (because it made my wife feel secure) but I felt like a mass producer of widgets and was uneasy. And I suffered the acute awareness that the greater the number, the more who’d be getting just the conventional counseling – talk, pontificate, laugh, vent, cry a spoonful – that I can’t love. The fact that a correspondingly greater number would benefit from meaningful depth work somehow didn’t impress.

Fairly soon I’ll be re-activating one of those Psychology Today therapist ads. Forgive me: They are all so fluffy, generic, sweet, unoriginal, Stepford-wifey, not to mention that everyone is prettier than I (maybe I need a more professional photo!). My ad will be a little different, with a sharp focus on depth, feeling-centered process. Seekers stirred by the words of older-fashioned life-changing therapy will call. Still, I will not want too many. The essential reason: I don’t see psychotherapy as a job, a career, a business. I don’t like jobs, careers, businesses. This isn’t a calling. It’s a necessity. Who I am is good with just a few meaningful contacts in my life. Here’s a way to understand that: How many good mothers does a person need? How many children?