A client, early twenties but unsettlingly savvy about his psychological self, has for much of his life felt he is the only human being. Earliest-age sense of difference and alienation, even from his friends, evolved into chronic depersonalization and derealization, living in the clouds. “I can relate to not being able to interface with reality” was one of several fluidly uttered variations of his self-sense. Parents’ divorce, father’s Asperger’s-like cloister-like silence and isolation, mother’s “drama” and being beaten by boyfriends, and their moving often probably grew the roots of two branches: his early, even infancy-stage perceptual-neurological desynchronization from live stimulation – nervous system being “out of phase” with others, mother then the rest of the world; and the resultant safety-making dissociation from everything.
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* Poe, The Cask of Amontillado